Love Letter for Upcoming Mother’s Day - Lessons learnt from my 4 children and the journey thus far.
As most of you know we have 4 beautifulhealthy children. Archie is 18, Trix is 16 and Monty and Maurie are 13. All oneyear older this year!
I cannot quite believe that they arethis age. Time just slips by and sometimes I want to freeze it!
I wanted to write this Love Letter tomy children. I wanted to thank them for all they have taught me. Not a day goesby without a lesson learnt and for this I am grateful, as hard as that issometimes!
When Archibald William (Archie) wasborn, a beautiful healthy bald blue-eyed boy! Suddenly, we were thrown intothis crazy world where we were not just foot-loose and fancy free, we had tostart being a bit responsible as we had another life to look after!!! Thisscared the hell out of me and also gave me a new purpose! It was hard and easyat the same time. The sleep deprivation that all new mums and dads talk aboutis real and disabling at times. The fuzzy head, a body that I once knew but nowis a little foreign to me….it tells a new story. I am number 8 of 10 children,I have always been surrounded by babies and children, but this was totally newfor me and I needed to make it the best way I knew how. I am a bit of aperfectionist in an ‘un - perfectionist way! I like my time and my structure,so when you throw motherhood into this, there is a lot of re-learning! I wouldnot have had it any other way though and I was up for the challenge because nowwe were now a family of 3!
Lessons Learnt from Arch thus far - Arch has taught me many things. Hehas taught me how to be resilient, to have faith, to let go and not worry somuch. Thank you, Arch. xx,
Then Beatrix Ruby (Trix) came along, abeautiful healthy, brown eyed, dark haired girl! Total opposite to Arch! Trix’sbirth was a calm, gentle but a quick birth. With special thanks to my dearmentor and friend Danette Watson. She taught me the way to owning my body,owning the pregnancy and birth journey, and helped me with the whole fearfactor that can come with the unknown of the birth journey. I am ever gratefulto Danette for this.
Number two baba and some people saidhow clever we were as we had produced The Pigeon Pair!!!!! I had never heardthis expression before, it had nothing to do with us, just how it was going tobe!
Trix was very dependent on me and neverwanted me to leave her side. I found this both wonderful and hard at the sametime. Again, challenging my need for ‘own time’ and ‘structure’! I learnt howto be that ‘human dummy’ as she would not take a real dummy and I learnt thatthis little bundle of Joy needed me, and she was going to teach me that Ineeded her too! Arch and Trix were ‘besties’, painting each other, throwingleaves in the autumn breeze, and fighting their way through the toddler stage!
Lessons learnt from Trix thus far - Trix has taught me to be open, to let alot go, to be patient. She has taught me a lot about myself and the why and howI have done the things I have. She has created the knowing bond between adaughter and a mother and for this I am grateful. Thank you, Trix. xx
Because we ‘like totally had thisparent thing down pat”, we decided to have another little bubba. Well andbehold we not only had one but two bubbas! Yes, twins were on the way!
There were tears of joy and tears of‘the unknown’!! OMG!!
Montague Benjamin (Monty) was bornfirst, he was a blue-eyed light brown hair beautiful, healthy boy. Then 50minutes later Maurice Richard (Maurie) was born, a beautiful, healthy browneyed sandy coloured haired boy! Both born in 3 and ½ hours with that 50-minutebreak in between! It was fast, they wanted to be in this world and they weregoing to teach me ‘soooooooo’ much! This period in our lives was absolutely crazy!Four children under five.
If this wasn't going to teach us athing or two about life then I’m not sure what will!
It was a time where I definitely had tolet go of things, I chose to choose my battles and leave the rest at the sametime. I suffered with anxiety and felt both elevated and flat at the same time.This was tough for me as I am naturally a pleaser and wanted to ‘do a good job,at this motherhood thing! I felt I was not coping that well and needed to go onanxiety medication to help me through. This was one of the hardest things forme to do as I felt I ‘should’ be able to cope, most women do (I thought!!). Iremember one day when I was speaking to one of my beautiful friends. I wascrying, saying how hard I was finding it all and that I had to go on medicationto help me cope. And I thought I needed to ‘up’ the medication to cope more. Inher kind gentle voice, she told me to ‘bloody’ triple it if I needed to’. Tonot feel bad because I could not cope. She helped me to see that it depictedstrength to show this vulnerability and to do something proactive about it. Iwas helping myself so I could be the best I could be for my children, myhusband and myself.
Although this time was tough in manyways it was also so incredibly rewarding. I could not believe that we had 4children. I felt totally blest! And now we are a family of 6!! xxxxxx
Lessons learnt from Monty thus far - Monty has taught me to laugh more(he has the best giggle!), to go with it and to trust the journey. Thank you,Monty. xx
Lessons learnt from Maurie thus far - Maurie has taught me to see thingsin a different way. He has taught me to think outside the square and to hugmore! Thank you Maurie. Xx
I am sure these lessons will continueto be learnt and appreciated and cursed as well!
I am grateful for the opportunity to bea mother. I certainly do not know it all and I never will, but I know that I amdoing the best job I know how on any given day. I know that love, support andunderstanding are the foundations that a mother/ child bond need to build apowerful relationship. I had a fantastic teacher, being my own beautifulmother, Lona and I feel so blest that I had this fine example to follow andbuild on.
All my love,
Love Steph xxoo
PS Hylesy has also been the mostwonderful teacher and encouragement. I could not have done this mothering jobwithout his love, help and support. Love you darling. xx