Finding peace when your heart is broken
As some may know our beautiful sister died suddenly 5 weeks ago. The trauma and shock involved with this is immense.
On my walk this morning I asked myself. What brings me comfort at the moment when my heart is heavy?
My walk in the rain this morning, gentle drops on my face amongst the tears. The sound of thunder in the background. The rich summer colours surrounding me. The crunch of dry grass beneath my boots. I pick up random feathers and pop them in my hair. I have been doing this for weeks now. A special friend said when you find a feather, it is a sign of loved ones gone before us. I just instinctly started popping them in my hair, maybe to gather them closer. My walks aren't at a fast pace, they are more a gentle step on the earth, noticing signs around that bring me comfort....a dragonfly, an eagle, a butterfly, feathers, love heart shaped leaves.....things that help me see that our loved ones never leave us, but that they carry us on our way.
I am blest to have a close loving family. We share our love of Franny, the 9th child in our family. The one who spoke her truth, who knew her 'stuff' and who would do anything for you. I know that if I asked Franny to help me she would. That's the making of a very Special person. I went to a few work events with Franny, I could not believe how she worked the room. Her networking skills were amazing. What made her special in this environment was that she gave people her time. She was authentic in her networking skills.
I think when your heart is broken with grief, it helps to hold it gently with your hand placed gently on top. If you cradle that beautiful heart with the memories, the laughter, the tears, the signs from above, your faith, music, the things you love, the love and support from friends, family and others that you don't know but have reached out....then it will heal. It will be softer from this experience but it will heal. And from this experience you will grow, your compassion for others will grow, you will heal. It will never be the same.
It will be different and that's OK.
The grief journey...
Love Steph xx